do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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