what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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