then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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