did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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