They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
