I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize