..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize