I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
