I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Two words: blizzard sex
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
