We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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