just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
