That's intense
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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