Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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