And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
