thus making me awesome and them whores
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
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this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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