YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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