I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
