so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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