It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
