so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
