You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I didn't notice because vodka
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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