Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
