I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You need a sexual gate keeper
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
