Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
