The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
