We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
