WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
