Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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