are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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