He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
