i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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