I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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