So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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