the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
