i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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