i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
