When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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