3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
