but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
