Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
