Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
