dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
