The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize