google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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