Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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