Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We need to rekindle our bromance
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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