You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
