JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
