i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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