forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
