Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
