WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
