do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we made out on top of his cat.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
