If i come over, it means nothing
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My vagina just clenched in fear
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