I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
