Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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