once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
