The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
zippers are such a cool invention
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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