"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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