But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
