youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
