I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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