I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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