my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
