kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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