i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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