And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
